Jackie Berman

I love going back in time through a journal...

After a relationship:
"I feel empty inside. Like something is missing.
Maybe this emptiness can someday be filled again.
Or maybe there will always be an emptiness. Maybe
after every relationship, a new emptiness forms,
causing a bigger hole filled with pain, sorrow,
grief, and longing. But what happens after there
is no room for more emptiness? Do you die of heart
ache?"

Thanks to my sweet baby I learned the answer to this
question. The question that at one point I thought
had, and never would have, an answer. The answer is
that, yes, after a relationship, especially one that
requires so much energy and filled with heartache,
an emptiness forms in one's heart. Contrary to my
belief, a new love fills that emptiness--not
further deepens it.

A new love brings back all of the joy and love and
     fun that was once forgotten.
A new love fills the emptiness and continues filling
     your heart with love and happiness.
A new love cures you of heartache.
A new love answers no-answer questions.
A new love is the joy of life.

for the longest time i prayed
every night i cried
desperate angry and confused
i often felt abused

to this day i wonder why
was this needed in my life
young and afraid i felt trapped
upon a thorn bush i was wrapped

i try to reason the acts that occured
to my dismay it all comes as a blur
god friends lover and i
no answer is found and certainly no reply

should i keep searching?
or is this an end?

life is a journey
which many answers are found
one answer i learned is
some questions won't be defined