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 Drinking and Driving

just thought i'd remind you all never to drink and drive. i know that you all know this to be a law and would never actually go through with such a criminal act, but there may be a dimension to this that you are not aware of- drinking coffee. yes, sadly enough you should not drink coffee while you drive either. let me tell you a little story about drinking coffee and driving:

once there was a guy, lets call him "joe" joe was on his way to the train station at 6:00 in the morning, he was in the beginning stage of his commute to the world trade center where he was filming video to be streamed live on the internet. joe was drinking a cup of coffee when all of a sudden he remembered that he did not yet shave that morning. "oh no!" he thought. luckily he had his electric razor in the car with him. he looked over into the passenger's seat where he had left it, only to find that it was no longer there.

"damn", thought joe, "it must have fallen under the seat". he reached over to look underneath the seat while (gasp) taking a sip of coffee. since this conference was being attended by multi-million dollar businesses from around the world he was wearing his silk tie and his nice suit. his clothing seemed to radiate a professionalism that exuded excellence in all visual aspects. the coffee cup touched his lips, only to spill all over his nice clothes. "^$%&*()^$#$%^@#()%^@#)(%^&*@^%!!!!!!!" thought joe as he swerved into the HOV lane, narrowly missing a school bus full of small children. the school bus veered into the highway divider and flipped over it like a giant yellow pancake in the shape of a school bus. the bus was dodging traffic to keep it's passengers fro being killed by an online collision. You could almost hear the hands of fate calling the children in the bus as they screamed for their lives. luckily a giant Terradactle swooped down and saved them all- however it most likely intended on eating the children later that day.

the coffee burned at first, but quickly became very cold and jarring. the exit to the train station came slow this day, the coffee ruining joe's clothes and causing the probable death of several small children seemed to stare at joe with diabolical eyes, constantly reminding him of the horrors that his carelessness had caused.

joe slept uneasily on the train this day, knowing what he did was wrong. however this is only the beginning of the consequences of drinking while driving coffee.

to be continued...

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