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much needed change
query, quiche, poquot, in the English language whenever you have a "q",
it is always followed by a "u". so to avoid confusion we should move
the alphabet around so that "u" comes right after "q". this
will remedy the ills of many a bad speller who just can't grasp this seemingly
simple grammatical rule.
While we're at it we should do the same for all the letters of the alphabet.
let's put all the vowels in one spot so they are easily identifiable- since
"a" is definitely the first letter of the alphabet we'll have to put
them all at the beginning to avoid confusion with the people who are familiar
with the "old" alphabet. so then "y" would be at the end
of the vowel chain, and closer to the beginning instead of in front of "z"
since this was my idea we shall make "d" and "c" the first
two letters of the alphabet so i will always be first in alphabetical order.
they will be followed by "aeiouy".
so far the new alphabet is: d c a e i o u y.
"e" should be before "i" because it is after "c"
, thus more help to the bad spellers. the only confusion is that "i"
is also followed by "y", but bad spellers may not realize this at
first and therefore would not have a problem. since i like the letter "t"
we could put it next, but i feel like it should be close to the end with the
likes of "s", "v", "w", "k", and "b".
so next we'll put "m" and "n", but reverse them so "n"
comes before "m". the rest of the order doesn't really matter since
the rest of the letters in the alphabet are dumb anyway and no one really uses
them.
the last thing that would happen to the new alphabet would be to add some new
characters that we don't use- that way little kids and immigrants will be challenged
by our confusing alphabet and have to think extra hard, thus developing their
minds to work harder in this wonderful country.
as you can see, much good will come about by changing around the alphabet.
to help this cause you should email this message to everyone you know, sign
the bottom, and tell them to do the same. eventually we will have enough signatures
on the petition to do some real good for this country, our people, and the world.
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