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Public Service Announcement

this is a public service announcement brought to you by a secretly private corporation. we here at the secretly private co. proudly sponsor this announcement and we would like to announce that we are completely secret and really don't want to announce who we are. we not only don't want to announce who we are but we also would like you to know that we are completely private and probably have nothing to do with you. of course you really don't know this since everything we do is so secret. the only thing that is not a secret about us is that we are very private- this is public information. likewise the only thing about us which is not private is the fact that everything we do is secret and very private- except for announcing that we are indeed very secret, very private, and very secretly private. Please enjoy this public service announcement:

joe was sitting at the conference drinking more coffee. "mmmmmmmmm, coffee" thought joe. so tasty and good. however joe didn't realize that while filming an international conference with a web cam, you can't move around too much since you're attached to a computer which is attached to an Ethernet port. joe sat there watching the conference, so long and boring when all of a sudden the coffee began to take hold. joe felt the temperature of the room rising exponentially as he panned the camera across the audience. Sweat began to bead on his head- the coffee was in the driver's seat now.

"vroooooom! i'm coffee! i'm gonna drive your brain into a crazy mess of destruction joe, AH-HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! let's play with the zoom, ye ha this is fun. now what does this button do? oooh letters, you can make this look like an old movie. i can also touch this guy's bald head without really touching him. this is great!"

as you can see letting coffee drive your brain is terrible mistake. Please join us in out fight against every single state altering substance in the world including coffee, tea, ginseng, food and air. this has been a privately public service announcement.

ps.
later that day... a woman drove her son, coffee to school while drinking a coke.

ps.
that was for you, punk. (you know who you are)

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